Caring for someone else? Don’t forget to care for yourself too.
Caring for someone you love, an elderly parent, a partner with health challenges, or a child who needs extra support, can be one of the most meaningful things you will ever do. But it can also be exhausting. Many of my clients have told me that they feel they have lost themselves along the way.
When you are focused on someone else’s needs, it is easy to put your own at the bottom of the list. You might tell yourself I will rest later or I just need to get through today. Over time, though, that neglect can quietly wear you down.
The hidden cost of caring
Caring often brings love and purpose, but it can also bring pressure, worry and fatigue. You might find it hard to switch off or notice that you have lost touch with the things that once brought you joy or helped you relax. Many carers I speak with describe feeling disconnected from themselves and unsure where they begin and the person they care for ends.
Signs you might be running on empty include poor sleep or constant tiredness, irritability or low patience, feeling disconnected or withdrawn, and changes in appetite or motivation.
If any of this sounds familiar, it might be time to pause and turn some of that care back towards yourself.
Self care is not selfish
Taking care of yourself does not mean you care any less for the person you support. In fact, it allows you to care better. As the saying goes ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’.
Small, regular acts of self care make the biggest difference. Try to rest whenever you can, even ten quiet minutes helps, eat well and drink plenty of water, stay connected with supportive friends or family, say yes when others offer help, and acknowledge your feelings rather than pushing them aside.
These are not luxuries, but they are simple ways of maintaining your own wellbeing so you can keep caring from a place of balance and strength.
How counselling can help
Caring for someone else often means carrying a lot inside, such as worry, guilt, sadness or even resentment. You may not want to tell others with how you really feel. Counselling gives you a confidential space where you can talk openly and be heard, without judgement.
It is an opportunity to explore the emotional impact of caring, reconnect with yourself outside of the caring role, and learn practical ways to set healthy boundaries and avoid burnout. Many of my clients tell me that having a regular, safe space just for them helps them reconnect with themselves and cope more calmly, continuing to care with greater balance and compassion for both themselves and their loved one.
You matter too
Caring for someone you love is an act of kindness, but you are part of that circle of care. Your needs, your rest and your emotions all matter.
If you are beginning to feel stretched or unsure how to keep going, you do not have to face it alone. Counselling can help you find space, strength and support for both you and the person you care for.
Because you cannot pour from an empty cup, and you deserve care too.
