HOGMANAY RESOLUTIONS & REFLECTIONS
The New Year often brings with it a mixture of feelings. There can be curiosity about the year to come and a sense of excitement at the possibility of a fresh start. Alongside this, January can also invite reflection on the year that has passed what we hoped to achieve, what didn’t quite happen, and, for some, feelings of regret.
As a Scot, New Year has always held particular significance for me. The traditions of Hogmanay are woven into my childhood and although I don’t practise them in the same way now, they still surface at this time of year. In particular, the belief that how you enter the New Year sets the tone for what follows shaped how I approached it traditions such as making sure there was money in my purse, slightly defunct now we all use apple pay or cards, food in the fridge, the house should be spotlessly clean and tidy, and that I stepped into the year with a full and happy heart. There was comfort in these rituals, a sense of being prepared and hopeful, however as I reflect and find myself trying to re-create them, I realise how easily they can turn into extra work and a quiet perfectionism that weighs heavily and feels unachievable, ultimately undermining the very sentiment they are meant to set.
As adults, these ideas often stay with us, even if we no longer follow them literally. They speak to something deeper within us to a need for familiarity, a connection with the past and a wish for security to create a sense of steadiness as we move forward into the unknown. Yet, so often, instead of carrying this gentleness into the New Year, we find ourselves looking back with regret or setting ourselves up to fail with unrealistic resolutions.
I wonder what it would be like to do something different. To loosen our grip on what we think should have happened and gently let some things go. To pause and notice what we did achieve, rather than focusing on what we didn’t. Choosing to approach the New Year in this way can feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable at first, but it can also bring relief and create space for self-acceptance, curiosity, and a kinder way of moving forward.
These moments are often small and easy to miss, the robin that lands on a bush as we walk past, a beautiful sunset, a stranger holding a door open. Yet they can anchor us in the present and remind us that there is goodness alongside the challenges.
I know that in the past I have reached the end of the year full of regrets and set myself up for what can only be described as epic failure, with quite frankly ridiculous and unachievable resolutions. Over time, I have come to understand how continually striving for perfection can foster an all-or-nothing mindset, rather than one rooted in balance and compassion.
This year feels different. I am excited to be signed up for additional training courses that will add to my counselling bag of knowledge and, in turn, benefit the clients I work with. My ‘resolutions’, if I can call them that, are gentler and more meaningful to me. As always, I would like to visit somewhere new, whether that’s a village, a country, a museum, or a gallery. I want to remember to take time for myself to simply be, rather than always doing and to notice the little things that bring me joy and allow myself the time and space to appreciate them.
What would you like from this year? You may feel clear about this, or you may feel unsure where to start. Perhaps you doubt yourself or feel disconnected from what you want. From personal experience, I know how helpful therapy can be in creating space to reconnect with yourself, to understand yourself more fully, and to move in a direction that brings contentment and joy. Therapy can also help build resilience and acceptance, recognising that there will be bumps in the road and learning how to navigate them with greater self-compassion.
As we move into this New Year, perhaps the invitation is not to be better, faster, or more but simply to be kinder to ourselves and open to what unfolds.
If you feel that therapy might support you as you move into the year ahead, you are welcome to get in touch to find out more about how I work.
